Those Advice shared by My Dad Which Helped Us during my time as a First-Time Dad

"In my view I was simply trying to survive for the first year."

Former reality TV personality Ryan Libbey expected to manage the difficulties of fatherhood.

However the truth soon turned out to be "utterly different" to what he'd imagined.

Life-threatening health complications around the birth saw his partner Louise hospitalised. All of a sudden he was forced into acting as her chief support in addition to caring for their newborn son Leo.

"I took on all the nights, each diaper… every stroll. The job of mother and father," Ryan shared.

After eleven months he became exhausted. That was when a conversation with his parent, on a bench in the park, that made him realise he needed help.

The simple words "You're not in a good place. You must get assistance. How can I assist you?" opened the door for Ryan to speak honestly, ask for help and regain his footing.

His story is not uncommon, but seldom highlighted. Although people is now more accustomed to discussing the stress on mothers and about post-natal depression, far less attention is paid about the difficulties dads go through.

'It's not weak to request support'

Ryan believes his struggles are part of a larger reluctance to open up between men, who often absorb harmful notions of manhood.

Men, he says, often feel they must be "the fortress that just gets hit and remains standing with each wave."

"It isn't a sign of failure to ask for help. I didn't do that quick enough," he clarifies.

Clinical psychologist Dr Jill Domoney, a researcher focusing on mental health surrounding childbirth, says men can be reluctant to admit they're having a hard time.

They can feel they are "not a legitimate person to be asking for help" - especially ahead of a mum and baby - but she stresses their mental state is vitally important to the unit.

Ryan's conversation with his dad provided him with the chance to take a break - going on a short trip abroad, away from the family home, to see things clearly.

He came to see he had to make a shift to focus on his and his partner's emotional states in addition to the day-to-day duties of looking after a infant.

When he shared with Louise, he realised he'd overlooked "what she was yearning" -reassuring touch and paying attention to her words.

Reparenting yourself'

That realisation has reshaped how Ryan views being a dad.

He's now composing Leo regular notes about his journey as a dad, which he wishes his son will see as he grows up.

Ryan believes these will help his son to more fully comprehend the language of emotion and understand his decisions as a father.

The concept of "reparenting" is something artist Professor Green - whose name is Stephen Manderson - has also felt keenly since fathering his son Slimane, who is now four.

During his childhood Stephen lacked reliable male a father figure. Even with having an "incredible" relationship with his dad, long-standing trauma resulted in his father found it hard to cope and was "coming and going" of his life, affecting their bond.

Stephen says suppressing emotions resulted in him make "terrible decisions" when in his youth to change how he felt, turning in drink and drugs as an escape from the pain.

"You find your way to behaviours that don't help," he says. "They might temporarily change how you feel, but they will in the end cause more harm."

Tips for Getting By as a First-Time Parent

• Share with someone - if you feel under pressure, tell a family member, your spouse or a counsellor how you're feeling. It can help to ease the pressure and make you feel more supported.
• Maintain your passions - continue with the things that made you feel like yourself before having a baby. This might be going for a run, meeting up with mates or gaming.
• Look after the body - eating well, getting some exercise and if you can, getting some sleep, all play a role in how your emotional health is faring.
• Meet other parents in the same boat - sharing their experiences, the difficult parts, as well as the good ones, can help to normalise how you're feeling.
• Know that requesting help is not failure - prioritising your own well-being is the best way you can support your loved ones.

When his father eventually died by suicide, Stephen understandably found it hard to accept the passing, having not spoken to him for years.

In his current role as a parent, Stephen's determined not to "perpetuate the cycle" with his own son and instead provide the security and emotional support he missed out on.

When his son threatens to have a outburst, for example, they try "releasing the emotion" together - managing the feelings constructively.

The two men Ryan and Stephen state they have become more balanced, healthier men because they confronted their struggles, changed how they express themselves, and figured out how to control themselves for their children.

"I am now more capable of… processing things and dealing with things," says Stephen.

"I put that down in a letter to Leo last week," Ryan adds. "I expressed, on occasion I feel like my role is to teach and advise you on life, but in reality, it's a exchange. I am discovering just as much as you are through this experience."