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Our friends for more than 20 years, a person who's faced and conquered many hardships, and I respect her for that. Yet, she's often blindsided by others. Her spouse ended their marriage, and it was a massive blow. Many of her friends drifted away during that time, since they had been focused solely on him. She was stunned by her. She made increased attention in our friendship, and must have understood more acutely what friendship was.

A Recurring Theme With Friends Drifting Away

Over the years, many close to her have disappeared leaving her sure why. Her last employer turned on her, despite the fact that she had been an excellent employee, and she left unaware of what had changed.

How Things Stand Now

Lately, we've both retired so we're spending time together, however, I feel the part I play between us is as the audience. I start discussion points only for her to redirect conversation onto what interests her. Regarding political views, she expresses unyielding views. My effort is to suggest double-checking information or other angles.

She's been arranging a holiday to a country I have traveled to on several occasions and resided in previously. I tried to provide advice, however, my input not welcomed. She purely solely sought validation of her plans. I've just ended a month there she hopes to meet, but I don't.

Considering the Choices

I don't want in this role who abandons suddenly without explanation, however, I feel she can understand the consequences of her behaviour on my confidence. Right now, I find myself in pulling back. What should I do?

Potential Solutions

One option is to end things abruptly, yet this is rarely the peaceful resolution we hope for. However, addressing it with a view to working things out requires bravery and readiness on both your parts.

Professional advice indicates trying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Step one requires explaining how things go when you talk. It should be based on facts like what a recording device would replay. The second involves sharing her how it leaves you feeling. There should be no disagreement on this point. Your feelings are your feelings, naturally. The third step involves requesting how the two of you can shift the interaction between you."

Remember your friend has her own side, thus requiring you to remain ready to listen to her. One effective method is telling your friend:

"Now you talk and I promise to not say anything for a set time."

It's remarkably impactful to encourage understanding.

Closing Considerations

Your friend could ignore your concerns, since certain individuals hold onto a self-protecting mindset: they maintain a version regarding their experiences they cannot release since their identity depends upon it being the only thing familiar to them. This poses a challenge when there seems no thoroughfare in such cases, just dead ends. Yet she could at first react like this and then think your perspective. And should you never reach a fix, it will give you satisfaction that you've been honest with her.